Curtis Wardle and David Astel
Cinnamon Roll Connoisseurs
How does one begin a masterpiece? One could begin with the scent of a freshly cooked Cinnabon. It’s just that good. As one enters the establishment, the scent seduces the nostrils, compelling you toward the counter. Much like a young Kanye West, no one can stop you.
Let’s move onto the food. Is Cinnabon good for you? No.
Is Cinnabon the choice of an individual with self respect? Probably not.
But that has never been the point. The sugary cinnamon monstrosity is an affront to nature, the perfect way to alert your parents to the fact that you are a disappointment. I find a good pairing for the Cinnabon is a long nap, a time out in which you can re evaluate all of your life decisions that have lead up to the fateful moment. Though, for those without shame, the Cinnabon is very well paired with the extra cup of frosting they sell for an extra 50 cents.
Would I recommend the Cinnabon? I find it is a perfect across the board recommendation. You can suggest it to a group of friends, and watch as the entire group succumbs to self pity. The Cinnabon is a poetic representation of modern society. We have pushed the very limits of sugary confections, never asking, “should we?” Much like the Arctic ice caps, my respect for myself plummets into the depths of the sea, as I pick apart the masterpiece that the cashier has placed before me.